not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
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