I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
