home. puking in laundry basket.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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