my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
