After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
