dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
