Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
