Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
