Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
