There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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