i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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