Sponge bath it is.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Two words: blizzard sex
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
