I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
