i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
