but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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