I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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