he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
