Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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