She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
