we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
