How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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