she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
not ubering you a puppy
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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