I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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