Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
