check it out our google latitudes are spooning
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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