So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
