You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
