That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
