Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I have aggressive nipples.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
