Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
