Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
