Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
porn star boner night. come get it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
