Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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