I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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