she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
