she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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