i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
