I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
