This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
