he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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