I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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