Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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