Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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