how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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