how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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