see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
