we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
