That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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