Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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