Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
