Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she smelled like a LAN party
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
