If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
